


of mothers and daughters

by astrxd



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Astrid Is Trying to Understand, F/M, Tumblr request, Valka is Doing Her Best, post-httyd 2, they both just love hiccup ok??? but then again who doesn't hahajfhj
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 04:10:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17932577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrxd/pseuds/astrxd
Summary: Of course, she wasn’t unreasonable in her frustrations; Astrid ultimately managed to come up with some answers to her own questions. The biggest was the fact that Valka was an ally of dragons -- and as far as she knew, Berk still wanted to kill each and every single one that they came across. How could she come back, riding a dragon, to a people that wanted to murder them? And it wasn’t like Astrid was claiming that Valka didn’t miss her husband and her son. At first, a righteous side of her almost felt angry about the fact that she didn’t miss them enough to come back, but…If Valka's love for dragons was anything like Hiccup’s, then it made sense that she stayed away.What Astrid didn’t understand was why she was staying away fromher.[tumblr request; my take on the nature and establishment of Astrid and Valka's relationship post-HTTYD 2. Valka is evasive; Astrid is frustrated and wants answers. The more she thinks, the more she understands.]





	1. of paranoia

**Author's Note:**

> [full anonymous request: hello! just a lurker who enjoys your ao3 way too much for my own good. like stay up until three in the morning knowing I have to leave for work in the next few hours... thought I’d let you know I love your work and will be again working my way through them all again. Now my request: Astrid/Valka relationship post HTTYD2. I don’t imagine it to have been smooth sailing as the movie briefly showed it- I imagine Astrid would be angry and Valka perhaps jealous. I’d love your take on the relationship!]
> 
> i looOOoOVED writing this. so much. i actually spent like six hours yesterday, as soon as i had the chance to sit down, just letting all of the words flow?? i haven't explored astrid and valka's relationship in much depth, but i think that this story was a good start for me to really piece together how i think they'd feel! pardon if any parts are rough, though, since this was my first time trying to articulate their dynamic and feelings.
> 
> i'm breaking this down into two chapters, since a 7k chunk just didn't feel right. i hope you enjoy it!!! thank you sm for your interest, regardless :-)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> astrid wants to fight the gods for her bf. she thinks about valka, comforts hiccup, and thinks about valka some more

Astrid liked to think of herself as observant. There were some things that she could just _tell._

Since Drago’s defeat and all of its interlocking events, she could see that Hiccup felt like he understood himself and his hereditary habits a little better. His dramatic tendencies, his affinity for dragons… Things that he didn’t see as positive reflections of who he was because he spent the first fifteen years of his life -- and then some -- brutally comparing his character to that of his father and desperately trying to do what he could to fill his shoes.

But from the rest that she’s gathered, every step forward made him feel like he was taking two steps back.

Now more than ever, Astrid knew that Hiccup was going to think of himself with the greatness and the legacy of Stoick the Vast standing behind him… And with the newly-chiseled statue watching over Berk from the Great Hall, it would be quite literal.

He found his mother. He lost his father. He had to rush through a funeral. Then, all too soon, he was inducted as chief. Now there was more pressure, more responsibility yanking him down from the shapeless, ever-changing citadel of clouds that he had spent the past years of his life exploring. No ease of transition, no true mentor to guide him…

It was all so _sudden_ and she knew that the abrupt change was taking its toll.

Astrid wanted to damn the stars on his behalf. How was that fair? How could the gods subject him to that kind of pain? Hiccup constantly did nothing but his best! He looked for the good in people, no matter how irredeemable they were made out to be; he was forgiving and compassionate and even if his hope for peace got them tangled up in unsavory situations, Astrid admired his tenacity. His heart. And the hope that he passed like a torch, always lighting others but never extinguishing itself? It -- _he_ \-- inspired her to be a better version of herself every single day. Damn it, she didn’t think that he deserved any of the gut wrenching, heartbreaking, stomach-turning horrors that life has thrown at him--

….But she knew that they were shaping him.

She knew that they were helping him grow.

She knew that she couldn’t stop the bad things from happening.

And she knew, very well, that he’d emerge from these challenges stronger than before -- just like she knew that she was going to be at his side through them all, no matter what. In the faces of adversity, of which there were many, the only place she wanted to be was beside Hiccup and Toothless: the pair that changed their world.

Her world.

The thing was… ‘Adversity’ could be defined in many ways; it came in many forms. For obvious reasons, however, Astrid wasn’t too keen on calling Hiccup’s long lost _mother_ an _adversary_.

They were on the same side -- Hiccup’s side. She had to remind herself of this frequently. Valka Haddock was nothing of an enemy to Astrid Hofferson, but for some reason, she couldn’t help but feel pangs of defensiveness when it came to Hiccup. It was bizarre and she felt guilty and she kept quiet about it. Maybe she was just being unreasonable, maybe she was just being an overprotective girlfriend -- or say, perhaps, something equally _inaccurate_.

Astrid was not simply Hiccup’s girlfriend, and she sure as Hel wasn’t irrational. On the note of the former, though: as much as they were romantic partners, they were friends. They were confidants. They were equals who supported each other, kept each other on their feet, and told each other the honest truth.

Once upon a time, Hiccup taught her about dragons and helped her train and bond with Stormfly. Then she taught him about combat; she helped him with techniques and defending himself. He let her talk about her fears of failure, she let him talk about his anxieties of (in)adequacy -- and so much more. Over the past five years, they’ve done nothing but help each other grow.

Five years -- half a decade! -- was a long time, even if it wasn’t a lifetime. She would never boast anything along the lines of having ‘always’ been by Hiccup’s side because that wasn’t the truth -- just like every other person on Berk, before their newfound era of peace, she had her… _Feelings_ about him. That changed, though, and now she had five years -- of laughs, of learning and forgiveness, of highs and lows, of memories both sweet and sour -- under her belt.

Five years was also more than what other certain individuals could say… As much as she loathed herself for even _thinking_ something so spiteful.

Yes. Fine. Astrid _was_ defensive about Hiccup towards his mom and it didn’t make a load of sense, given the fact that Valka was his _mother_ , but she still felt like she had decent enough reason. Even if most of her logic was based off of fleeting interactions and extrapolation done in her head in the dead of night when she struggled to sleep.

Twenty years. It didn’t make sense to her, and to put things bluntly, she had more than a few reservations about the fact that his mom never came back. While she was more than happy with where she stood in life and with Hiccup, she couldn’t _not_ wonder: how different would his life be if his mom was part of it? Astrid loved Hiccup, she loved the person he was and the person he was becoming, but...

It was hard to see him be so critical of himself all the time. As a perfectionist herself, she knew the feeling of wanting to be everything everyone expected all too well, but where she grew up and thrived on praise, Hiccup met with disappointment. Though their ineffable desires to be _enough_ were similar in nature, they stemmed from different places and were shaped by different experiences.

Hiccup wanted to be enough and he absolutely was -- it was just hard for him to see that when he’s spent the majority of his life feeling otherwise, no matter how frequently she assured him.

That wasn’t to say that Stoick didn’t try enough. He was an incredible father and Astrid knew that because he was a father to her too, but those wonders of hers were intrusive. How different would Hiccup be if he grew up with a mother’s love? What would be different about his self esteem and skewed self image? How much happier and secure in his identity would he have been if he grew up feeling like who he was wasn’t wrong or a burden or--or--

...Or the mistake -- the hiccup -- everybody made him out to be.

Astrid had thoughts -- many, many thoughts. It wasn’t her place to voice them so she kept them inside. Thankfully, Hiccup seemed to be fine and he was adjusting to life with his mom in it, and Valka was… Well, Astrid figured that she was doing her best to learn how to live with people again, not just dragons. She knew that it had to be hard, so she respected her for trying.

Valka was trying. Astrid reminded herself of that often.

The first time she learned about his mom, it was in the middle of a battle -- meaning she didn’t have very much time to think about the fact that Valka had been _alive,_  living among _dragons_ , and very much capable of returning to her family.

Astrid was stunned in the few moments she had before her attention was pulled back to the fight. Seeing that armor-clad woman standing on a flying dragon (a testament to her skills and her trust in the creature; visual evidence of their bond) while summoning the presence of that massive Alpha… In those fleeting seconds, Astrid made the connection easily. She was definitely Hiccup’s mother; he was definitely that woman’s son.

The first time Astrid was anywhere close to Valka, she was holding Hiccup, all three of them sitting over Stoick’s body as Gobber rushed over, too. The two shared this glance, this silent acknowledgment of some kind, before pinpricks of curiosity were dominated by overwhelming grief. Thinking back on it now, Astrid wondered -- what did Valka think of her? That was the first impression she got: a young woman who claimed Hiccup’s other side, held his hand, rested her head on his shoulder, and shared in the agonizing disbelief of a great man lost.

(Did Valka wonder who Astrid was, intruding upon a fractured family’s moment of sudden mourning? Did Valka wonder why Astrid was shedding tears for her husband? Did she think her insolent for grieving with them? Frankly… She couldn’t tell. Maybe Hiccup mentioned his girlfriend, but probably not -- not that she found that offensive. Astrid just had a feeling that Valka didn’t know about her then, in the same way that she only learned Valka’s name because Gobber had murmured it as they moved Stoick’s body.)

Then... There was Stoick’s funeral. They cleared the deck of a ship left behind, they built a pyre, they salvaged the best linen sail and draped it over his body. They silently moved through anguish as they eased the vessel into the water; they recovered the abandoned bows and arrows of archers, lit their arrowheads, fell into line...

And even in spite of how heavy her heart weighed in her chest, Astrid couldn’t shake the feeling that Valka was watching her. Observing her? Sizing her up? Trying to understand why she stood first position as soon as Gobber began to speak? Wondering who Astrid thought she was?

Most of these questions were manifestations of her anxiety about Valka disapproving of her and she knew it, but awareness didn’t make them stop.

Whatever it was, it was the kind of instinctive feeling that she’s sharpened during her training as a warrior -- an unmistakable pull in her gut. She tried to ignore it, she tried to tell herself that the reason she stood so straight and squared her shoulders was because Stoick deserved her best, but the way her hairs stood up at the nape of her neck insisted otherwise.

Astrid didn’t let herself ponder it when there were more pressing matters at hand, but the wake of Hiccup and Toothless’ triumph over Drago Bludvist left every bit of her feeling like an open wound. She felt everything almost too intensely -- the aching desire to support Hiccup, the pain of her supposed-to-be father-in-law’s absence… The fear that the mother of her supposed-to-be betrothed didn’t think well of her.

But she set aside those concerns to focus on restabilizing life on Berk.

Then more than ever, Hiccup needed to know how fiercely people trusted him. Thankfully, there was no shortage of believers -- even Snotlout let down his walls and took a firm stance by their chief’s side, choosing to help manage the smaller matters to keep them from piling up on Hiccup’s plate. Ruff and Tuff fronted many ice-clearing tasks (albeit in a more _explosive_ way than Astrid probably would have done it, but they were still effective); Fishlegs assisted in calming, acclimating, and recording dragons when Gobber and Valka freed them of their armor and restraints… Everybody helped ease the weight of the world from Hiccup’s shoulders.

In the following couple of days, she was able to suspend most of her wonders about Valka, the woman who preferred the company of dragons and seemed to avoid other Vikings as much as possible, by throwing herself into work. Astrid did different things, including executing the Hangar expansion plans that Hiccup drafted -- and well into the ungodly hours of the evening, she would linger with him in the Great Hall or the forge, keeping him company (and keeping him from pulling out his hair) as he pored over lists and duties.

Not to mention how she took to encouraging him to talk to her and drop the brave face that he felt obligated to wear around the village when they were together.

* * *

 Recently, Hiccup was skipping meal service in the Great Hall to eat at home with his mom. After two or three days, though, he sat with the rest of their friends for a dinner again. Of course, Astrid always understood when wasn’t around -- she couldn’t ever be upset about seeing Hiccup less when he was trying to make up for two decades of lost time with his mother.

She wanted him to spend time with his mom, obviously. Astrid didn’t feel “threatened” by her presence in his life; she was just glad that he still had a parent to rely on (or to learn to rely on, at least) in the first place.

It was one of those nights in the Great Hall where Astrid and Hiccup were at their usual table, even though the rest of the village long since filed out and retired to their homes. Hiccup had been quiet throughout the meal, only supplying an empty laugh or a reply to one of Fishlegs’ observations about all of the new dragon species inhabiting Berk. Everyone could tell that he wasn’t feeling well, but for the sake of not drawing attention to him and making things more difficult, dinner proceeded as normal.

...Astrid noticed how his eyes turned glassy when Tuffnut dropped a “chief” at the end of one of his addresses to Hiccup, though. It was for that reason -- as well as his tensing and untensing shoulders whenever someone walked by, his perpetually furrowed brow, and his _thinking face_ \-- that she held his hand under the table and made sure that he didn’t get up while everybody said their good nights.

Though it took some time for the cavernous chamber to empty out, the moment that the only other souls in the vicinity were their half-asleep dragons, curled up against each other by the hearth, Hiccup’s shoulders sagged. His expression suddenly crumpled. His breath came in ragged, shuddering sobs.

And Astrid held him.

She wordlessly wrapped her arms around him; she pulled him into her embrace and eased his face into the crook of her neck. She started to thread her fingers through his hair with one hand while the other rubbed circles into his back.

“I’m… I, I’m--I’m _so--_ ”

Tired. Exhausted. Stressed. He didn’t need to say a single one of those things for her to understand.

“I know, Hiccup. I know,” she murmured, because she did. He’s been holding all of this in for too long and she knew it. Feeling him tighten his hold around her, feeling his fingers curl into the fabric of her shirt, _hearing_ him break down like this -- how could she not do the same? Astrid wasn’t _really_ Stoick’s child, but through their shared love for and pride in Hiccup, among other things, they bonded. She loved Stoick not only as her chief and as a role model, but as family. “I’m here,” she whispered, vision blurring, heart pounding, fingers trembling. “I’m here.”

(Reassuring him of her presence -- of the fact that she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon -- just felt more important than reminding him that they were okay… Because technically, they weren’t. Healing was a process and they weren’t going to become ‘okay’ overnight, but she was there. They were together. For now, that would be enough.)

Their gasps for air and vocalized pain overlapped to the point that she could barely distinguish the sounds when they bounced off of the Great Hall’s walls. The noises of anguish had alerted their dragons and roused them from their semi-slumbers, causing them to lift their heads and loudly rumble in concern of their riders. As Hiccup unraveled in her arms, Astrid took it upon herself to manage a shaky smile at Toothless and Stormfly. She raised a wobbly hand and waved to assure them that they were going to be okay--

Except… As she opened her eyes and lifted her head, her gaze caught on the heavy doors of the Great Hall.

Standing there, at the head of the room, was Valka. Cloudjumper had the door propped open behind her and was peering at them, head tilted, and while the dragon’s gaze was curious, Valka’s gaze was… Was…

Astrid didn’t know what it was.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked rapidly to clear her vision. Though she was speechless, she opened her mouth to try and say something--

Had it been the tears brimming her eyes that made her think she saw a trace of _contempt_ on Valka’s otherwise stony face? Was her sight just bleary and unfocused, was it just playing tricks on her? Astrid couldn’t tell, but it made her seize up for some reason, and by the time she tried to summon her voice again, Valka slipped away with a quick pivot.

As if she were never even there.

That night left Astrid… Frustrated, for some reason. On the one hand, she figured that Valka was just giving the two of them space -- after all, they were cradling each other in their arms and were crying. On the other, though, why _didn’t_ Valka stay? What Hiccup was upset about should have been obvious and the support of his mother during the mourning of the death of his father would have helped. But she left.

Why did she leave? (Why didn’t she _come back?)_

* * *

 And then she started to notice a pattern.

One time, it was down at the smithy -- Gobber and Hiccup were continuing to melt down all of the armor Drago fashioned for the dragons he captured and Valka had been there too, naturally. The blacksmith and the chief were the two people that Valka seemed to have the fewest, if any, reservations about being around.

Astrid flew into the clearing with Stormfly and another Nadder in tow. Just before they landed, the two dragons dropped a set of dragon armor from their claws, letting the metal thunk onto the earth with clangs that got the attention of Toothless -- then the people in the smithy. Hiccup ducked his head out of the service window as Toothless perked up in greeting. Cloudjumper was poised beside the him and Astrid watched as Toothless gave the Stormcutter a hopeful grin, as if checking to see whether or not the dragon was just as excited about their arrival.

(If Cloudjumper was outside the forge, that meant Valka had to be inside of it.)

“Drop off!” She called, grinning anyway, even with the knot in her stomach. Astrid dismounted Stormfly with practiced ease and proudly strode over to the counter. With a contented sigh, she propped an elbow on the sill and looked over at where the three dragons were conversing, of sorts.

“He-hey, would you look at that,” Hiccup greeted, gesturing between her and the now-armorless Nadder, “you finally got to him! We’ve been trying to get in close with that fella for days. How’d you do it?”

Astrid smiled and shrugged a shoulder. Some of the dragons they rescued had been captives for so long that they were particularly apprehensive about anybody getting close -- even when they only wanted to relieve them of the metal plates closely joined to their scales. The purple Deadly Nadder had a sheet perfectly molded to its horn, and the first time they tried to remove it, the dragon got spooked and took off. “Oh, you know -- a little chicken, some help from Stormfly, your _hand thing._ After Stormfly showed him that I could be trusted, he eased up.”

“Where would we be without our resident Nadder expert?” Hiccup leaned out the window and pecked her cheek, drawing a laugh out of her.

“Please,” she snorted, swatting gently at his arm. “What would we be without _you_?"

“On fire instead of, uh, riddled with ice, probably,” he deadpanned. “Well, I mean, I guess we still catch fire here and now, sometimes--”

Gobber snorted as he walked past Hiccup. “Hah. Sometimes, the lad says,” he said, shaking his head and giving her a look. Hiccup scoffed in mock indignation and Astrid snickered.

“Wh--excuse me? I’ll have you know--”

“That you’re doing your best?” Astrid supplied, beaming. She reached out to touch his shoulder and draw him in closer -- close enough so that she could make it her turn to kiss his cheek. “Don’t worry. We know, babe.” And the softer addendum: “I know.”

No sarcasm, no teasing jab -- all genuine belief in the fact that Hiccup was doing everything he could for them. Gobber said something to Grump like ‘oh boy, look away, Grumpy -- oop, awl’righty, yer sleepin’, that works,’ though Astrid couldn’t be sure when she was too busy sharing a warm gaze with her boyfriend. He was stunned, for just a moment, and then he opened his mouth to speak--

But in a matter of seconds, the silence that fell between them was interrupted by a grand gust of wind… Generated by the take-off of a just as grand dragon. The two of them stood there, watching as Cloudjumper and Valka took to the skies.

That interaction -- or rather, the lack thereof -- had only confused Astrid further. Why Valka just took off, she didn’t know, and her confused glance towards Hiccup didn’t provide any clarity when he was just as perplexed. She tried to brush it off, but it was all too reminiscent of that evening in the Great Hall.

Without a word, Valka disappeared. Again. Astrid couldn’t figure it out for the life of her: why did she leave? ( _Why_ , her brain nagged once more, _didn’t she come back?_ )

A paranoid -- and slightly exasperated, a tiny bit guilty -- voice in the back of her head, the same one that kept beating at her curiosity about Valka Haddock, told her that it was because of her.

After it seemed to just keep happening (quickly averted gazes after lingering stares, a ducked head in crowds, turning away when she showed up anywhere), Astrid was slowly starting to believe it.

 


	2. of second chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dinner at the haddocks. for the dancing and the dreaming. astrid has a realization. the air is cleared.

It quickly got harder to bottle up all of her concerns and thoughts and hunches, especially because she’d gotten so used to confiding in Hiccup. She recounted each time Valka fled when she was around. She tried to draw up memories of her expressions. She thought more and more about the fact that she was more than well equipped to come back to Berk -- to Hiccup, to Stoick.

Of course, she wasn’t unreasonable in her frustrations; Astrid ultimately managed to come up with some answers to her own questions. The biggest was the fact that Valka was an ally of dragons -- and as far as she knew, Berk still wanted to kill each and every single one that they came across. How could she come back, riding a dragon, to a people that wanted to murder them? And it wasn’t like Astrid was claiming that Valka didn’t miss her husband and her son. At first, a righteous side of her almost felt angry about the fact that she didn’t miss them enough to come back, but…

If Valka's love for dragons was anything like Hiccup’s, then it made sense that she stayed away.

What Astrid didn’t understand was why she was staying away from  _her._

She brought her thoughts towards Hiccup one day, just about a week after everything with Drago happened. In a rare opportunity for a break, the two stole away to the cove -- the place tucked away in Berk’s dense forests that held immeasurable significance for Toothless and Hiccup. Astrid felt honored that they let her share the sacred space with them.

“I just don’t get it,” she huffed, searching the water’s edge for another smooth stone to try and skip across the surface. “I don’t know what I did, but it has to be something, and I can’t stop thinking about it because I can’t figure it out! I’ve barely said three words to her and…”

Astrid winced. Was that it? Was it because she hasn’t stepped forward to bridge the gap? It wasn’t like she hasn’t tried, though -- whenever she got close, Valka just upped. She picked up a flat rock and stood back up to swipe her arm through the air. One, two, three skips -- ugh. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, Hiccup,” she said, quieter now, as she watched the ripples wobble over the water’s surface.

“Hm. I think you need to drive back with your elbow and then lead with it during the follow-through,” he said, walking over, tossing a stone up and catching it again. Hiccup winded his arm and--

One, two,  _plink!_

Hiccup hummed. Astrid sighed.

“Or… Not, I guess?”

“Hiccup, please.” She frowned and picked up another stone. “I don’t know what to do about your mom--” The wind up, the flick of her wrist -- one, two, three,  _four_. Satisfied, but no less at ease, she straightened again. Without the rock to busy nervous fingers, Astrid turned to wrapping her arms around herself. “--not about skipping stones.”

“Astrid…” Hiccup exhaled deeply, audibly, but she didn’t look over at him -- she kept her brow knitted and her hard gaze trained on the water. “Astrid, hey--” Then Hiccup reached out, one hand on her shoulder, turning her towards him, other hand on her other arm--

Her shoulders dropped when their eyes met. He looked… Tired. More tired than she looked, more tired than she felt. With pursed lips, she dropped her self-embrace and raised her hands to his cheeks. Her thumbs passed over the faint shadows under his eyes. “...You haven’t been sleeping.”

“And you’re changing the subject,” he frowned. Warm, wide palms held her bare upper arms. They were rough and calloused from smithy work and dragon riding. “I’m not saying that you’re making this up or anything because I, I’ve obviously noticed too, but she’s--I’m--I mean… She's trying. I know she's trying.” He deflated, obviously stumped, too. “I… I don’t know. I’m sorry, Astrid, I--”

“Don’t apologize,” she urged him, “I know she's doing her best -- I am, too. But I don’t expect you to have all of the answers. I didn’t expect you to have any answer.”

“But I feel like I should know what to say.”

“It’s okay to  _feel_ like you should, as long as you  _know_ that you don’t. I’m just...” Astrid sighed for the umpteenth time. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, that's all. It comes up and my chest gets all tight and I start to feel kind of sick--”

“Sick? Why?”

“Because she’s your  _mom_ , Hiccup. Obviously I want a good relationship with her, since we’re--”

Hiccup looked all too curious when she stopped herself short. His eyes got bright -- and in spite of the conversation she was trying to have, she can’t help but smile. Truth be told, it was reassuring… Especially when she was facing a situation like this: a situation where she was almost positive that her boyfriend’s mom resented her. “We’re…?”

“Since we’re together -- and since we’re  _staying_ together,” she said, hands moving down to his shoulders. She uses them as leverage to help pull herself to her toes, enough so that she can kiss his forehead.

“Yeah, I got that, but ‘staying together’ as in?” He grinned, arms starting to loop around her waist. Astrid groaned in mock-exasperation.

“Hiccup,” she admonished, albeit with a smile. “Seriously.”

“Alright, okay, I’m sorry,” he relented. Astrid closed her eyes and happily lifted her shoulders when he gave  _her_ a kiss on the forehead. “Anyway, I’ve got some ideas.”

“About why your mom hates me?”

“Astrid, she doesn't--”

“Hey, kidding! Well, not really.”

_“Astrid--”_

“Relax, relax. I’m not sure just yet. Tell me your ideas -- as long as they don’t involve you putting yourself in danger and me gallantly rescuing you to prove how worthy I am.”

“Welp, then I got nothin’.”

“Hiccup--”

“Kidding! Relax, relax." He used her own words against her with a mock-pout and all. Astrid rolled her eyes.

“Alright, shoot.”

“Come over for dinner.”

* * *

 Dinner.  _Dinner._ That had been Hiccup’s grand plan -- if “grand plan” was suddenly synonymous with “off-the-cuff idea that he somehow came up with in two seconds flat.”

(Then again… That wasn’t really out of the ordinary for him. His mind was pretty impressive, she could easily admit that much.)

If each time Astrid has come close to Valka was any indication of how the night would go, she had every reason to worry. Being in the Haddock residence was once something easy and natural -- partially due to those three weeks she spent at Hiccup’s side during his coma, partially due to how often Stoick would insist that they all dined together. Being there now, though, waiting for Valka to come back…

The house felt foreign. She felt like she was intruding, overstepping, out of place. And she hated it.

That was all she could think as she stood beside Hiccup in the kitchen. It was through him that Astrid learned that Valka didn’t like eating in the Great Hall very much because she felt strange around all of those people. That was why Valka slipped in after everyone left; that was why he spent most evenings at home with her.

As much sense as that made… She was still more in the dark than the light.

“--strid? Astrid,” Hiccup started. “Hey… Hey.” She snapped back to the present and remembered where she was: in front of the hearth, mechanically stirring a pot of stew. Astrid looked down at the food, over at Hiccup, then back at the food to find that it was almost starting to boil over because she had it over the heat for too long.

“Ugh -- sorry, I’m...” Sheepishly, she picked up the pot by the handles and shuttled it to the dining table.

“Nervous?” Hiccup supplied, trailing after her with a clay dish of fresh bread. Hiccup told her that he joked about being a bread-making Viking once -- and unsurprisingly, he wasn’t bad at it. After setting the plate down, he put a hand on the small of her back. Astrid flushed, half expecting him to make a joke about her being  _nervous_ about a  _dinner_ … But he doesn’t.

Instead, he leans in and presses his forehead to hers.

“Don’t be,” he assured her gently, in this way that just makes her  _melt_ into him. Astrid turned a little so that she was facing him and could set either of her hands against his chest. “I don’t have the words to tell you just how--how  _thankful_ I am that you’re trying so hard with this. And if it helps… Just remember. I’m here.”

_I’m here._

The words repeat in her head, an echo of what she told him only so long ago. A smile makes the corners of her lips twitch, then curl, and in a matter of moments, she’s full-on grinning because--

He’s there.

Hiccup reaches up to take her hands. He holds them in hers and runs his thumbs over her knuckles, then in an all too heartwarming gesture, he lifts one of them to his face and kisses the back of it.

Astrid snorted but her eyes glittered as she looked at him. “You’re still painfully dorky about romance when you want to be,” she reminded him -- as if either of them could forget.

“Wha--me? Psh, not a chance.” His half-hearted denial left her scoffing in disbelief, but before she could respond with her own sarcastic remark… Hiccup squeezed her hands. His expression was solemn, just for a second, but he brightened to reassure her that he was okay when she made a concerned face. Obviously, he was  _thinking-_ thinking.

“...Okay, spill. What is it?”

Hiccup took a breath.

“When my dad found my mom again,” he started… Then he paused to press his lips together. “We were in those caverns, we were catching up, and we were cooking.” Hiccup gave a short laugh, interrupting himself. “Well, it was barely  _cooking,_  but there was fire and food and water. And then my mom got distant, and then my dad started whistling, and then--”

He exhaled. It was a short breath, a staggering breath -- he sniffed.

“Hiccup, you don’t have to…”

“No, no,” he said, managing a smile. “It’s -- it’s not… Bad. I mean, I’m--I’m sad, but it was… It was the first time that I saw my parents really together. They had a song, Astrid, and--and there was a dance, and it was just -- incredible. Amazing, how after  _twenty years_ … They both had it down pat.”

His smile was tight.

“Gods, if you were there… They loved each other. So much, I could feel it.” He shook his head. “All I could think about was the three of us, here -- home -- actually cooking, and them… Together again. All of us, together again. A family.”

Astrid was at a loss for words. She’s found that sometimes, Hiccup didn’t need to  _hear_ comfort -- he just needed to be  _heard._  She was going to slip one of her hands out of his and raise it to his cheek, but--

“I think I remember some of it.”

She blinked blankly. Hiccup looked at her with warmth, hope, and love in his expression.

“You don’t mean--”

“It’s easy -- I, uh, I think. Since I don’t know it, that means that I can’t get it  _too_ wrong,” he reasoned. A grin was starting to spread across his face, but Astrid bit her lip, even as he started to ease them towards a more open space in the room. Was he serious? Was he really going to give her another reason to feel like she was trespassing? And on top of that -- were they really going to  _dance?_

“Hiccup, if it was your parents’ song, I don’t… I don’t think I--”

“Hands here,” he said, raising their hands to shoulder-level at either side of them.

“Hiccup.” The sternness of her tone was wavering because of the way he was smiling down at their feet.

“Okay, and then it’s like… This step thing, and then we kinda -- move like this, I think--”

“Hiccup,” Astrid said again, this time with half a laugh caught in her throat. It threatened to bubble past her lips as he took a couple of experimental steps and urged her to mirror them.

“Pull back, move in, then back again, and in,” he explained. Astrid, as hesitant as she was, couldn’t  _not_ indulge him when he started half singing, half humming. She couldn’t tell, but it was sweet. Something, something harm; something, something beside him -- something, something poetry--

“Gods, Hiccup--” Her smile was broadening, broadening… It was a grin. A full-fledged, cheek-hurting grin.

“No, no, I’ve got it! Really, I promise -- and then you walk in front of me,” he insisted, letting go of one of her hands to guide her path. She complied and stepped forward, (fondly) shaking her head all the while. “Now cross your arms and take my hands--”

If she wasn’t already endeared, the way that he stood behind her, and started to step and sway and then  _spin_ her was the breaking point. Astrid’s laugh broke through her defensive ranks and it resonated throughout the house, because suddenly his arms were around her waist and he was whirling them around -- something, something love and kiss and sweetly -- something, something, dancing and the--

...But of course, with Astrid’s recent sort of rotten luck, Hiccup was going to spin her around right when Valka stepped through the door.

Immediately, they stopped. Astrid’s expression wavered when their eyes met because she felt  _guilty_ because this was  _hers,_ but Hiccup -- oh, Hiccup.

“Hey, mom,” he greeted oh-so casually, and Valka smiled. Astrid was expecting a look laced with spite; a face tinted with disdain--

But she was smiling.

And it was a bittersweet sort of smile; there wasn't a hint of anything that said she was upset -- her face was happy, but sad. Sad, but happy.  With the way she gazed at the two of them, still tangled up in each other’s arms, Astrid could tell that it was directed at the both of them.

“I’ll give you two a moment,” Valka said, nodding her head and excusing herself.

The thing was, though... Even if her dorky cornball boyfriend was making her feel Fireworms in her stomach, Astrid didn’t want a  _moment_. She didn’t want any more time. She was tired of having the impression that Valka felt like the two of them could never be around Hiccup at the same time because it should never have to be one or the other between them--

...Oh.

In a split-second decision, she touched her hand to Hiccup’s chest, a silent request for some time, before rushing away to tail down his mom.

* * *

Valka didn’t get far. When Astrid found her, she was just outside, a short way down the hill that the Haddock residence stood upon, where Cloudjumper and Stormfly and Toothless congregated. Valka had brought them dinner, apparently, and was watching them eat.

Astrid heaved a silent deep breath -- the cold evening air filled her lungs, refreshed her senses, and reminded her of her resolve… But what did she open with? An apology? A question? A conversation starter, about how both of their dragons were technically Storm-somethings?

...Actually, no -- it was high time for a proper introduction.

She squared her shoulders.

“My name is Astrid Hofferson." Her chin was raised enough to show confidence, but not arrogance. She took a step forward when Valka turned around. “I’ve been with your son for the past five years, and those five years ago, he showed us that everything we thought we knew about dragons was wrong. He brought peace to Berk -- but what he did isn't what made me love him, it just helped me see who he was.”

Valka’s expression was that of surprise, but after a second of that shock, her face became unreadable -- especially in the partial dark. That didn’t stop her from continuing to descend more steps as to close the distance between them. Astrid pressed forward.

“He’s stubborn, he can be impulsive and too hard on himself, he’s got a streak of recklessness, he’s  _stubborn_ …” Astrid watched a smile seemed to quirk at Valka’s lips, as if that first and last bit reminded her of somebody else that she knew. “But he tries. He puts his heart into everything that he does, and especially when times are hard, what he really needs is somebody,  _somebodies_ to stand beside him. Valka, I--”

She swallowed thickly. “I don’t want it to have to be you or me. He shouldn’t have to make that choice because you’re--you’re his  _mother_. I know it isn’t my place to say this, but I just--I want you to be there for him, through all of… This. You’ve been gone all this time, and now more than ever, Hiccup needs support. The thing is, though, I don’t want to have to back down? I’m not  _going_ to back down. But I also don’t want to hold his hand and then feel like I have to let go because you walk in -- in the same way that I don’t want you to have to feel like you have to  _leave_ because I show up--”

“Astrid…”

“Please,” she said. Valka, still mysterious, gave her the tiniest tip of her head, signaling for her to continue. Astrid felt like she was under intensely scrutinizing eyes, but she went on. “I’m… I’m sorry if it seems like I’m in your way, but I promise that I’m not trying to stand between you and your son. And--and Stoick? He was like a second father to me.” A breath. “Technicalities aside, I still want him to be a proper second father to me.”

(Announcing her nuptial intentions -- nice. It still felt important, though, because if Astrid was going to  _marry_ Hiccup one day, then Valka would be her veritable mother-in-law.)

“I love him. I know you do, too. So whatever I did to make you object towards me? Whatever I said, whatever happened? This is me asking you to set that aside. Not for my sake--” Astrid glanced over her shoulder… And of course, Hiccup was standing in the doorway. He was a silhouette in the light spilling from inside. She turned forward again. “For his.”

Honestly, Astrid wasn’t entirely sure as to what she just said. All of it just fell out of her mouth, shooting forward after finally being relieved of all the pressure she was using to shove it down. She wondered if she’d made any sense, she wondered if she made the situation better or worse or--

Valka looked between her, then at Hiccup, then back at her.

“...Why don’t we go on a short walk?”

* * *

Their dragons stayed behind with Hiccup, who was… All things considered, probably very confused. Probably more confused than Astrid was.

“It wasn’t Hiccup who told me about ye,” Valka started. Astrid’s eyes went wide as she snapped her startled gaze towards the woman walking alongside her, and in the dim light of the moon and the glow coming from the structures they passed, she could make out the high cheekbones of Valka’s face. She thought of Hiccup. “No, not Stoick, either. It’d been Gobber.”

Astrid blinked blankly. “He…?”

“Aye.” Valka nodded solemnly. “Told me how often Stoick would boast about his future daughter-in-law, an’ how highly he thought of you. How highly all of Berk thinks of you.”

Astrid pursed her lips. In the context of Berk before peace… People thinking highly of her wasn’t exactly something that Valka -- a woman who has dedicated her entire life to protecting and saving dragons -- would see as a good thing.  _That_  Astrid was a product of her society and wanted to kill dragons.

Valka abruptly stopped walking and cast her gaze out to the dark waters stretching into the horizon. The waves were calm.

“Seein’ you two… Really, I think of all that might have been.”

(Astrid went rigid. What she might have been to Stoick, or what she might have been to Hiccup? It wasn’t clear, but Valka closed her eyes against the sea breeze.)

“I was yer age, in those very shoes. Granted, we were married and with an heir,” Valka interrupted herself to laugh quietly, but she sobered quickly. “Twenty -- twenty years old when I left, an’ twenty years I’ve been gone. What I feel…” She shook her head. “Mm. I accept the decisions I’ve made in life and… Ah. And you should know: two decades in the company of dragons makes a woman poorly versed in talkin’ te humans.”

The blonde nodded in silent response, hoping to communicate that she understood. Valka continued. “It isn’t you, Astrid. It’s everyone -- it’s everything. All this time away, coming back is one thing -- coming back te Vikings? And dragons and Vikings, livin’ in  _harmony_?” She snorted. “I didn’t think it te be possible, but here we are. An’ when I see you an’ Hiccup…”

Valka looked towards her,  _directly_ towards her, for the first time. Instead of feeling her posture tense impossibly more, though, Astrid felt… Better. A little more at ease, under the sage eyes of Valka Haddock.

“I’m still findin’ my wings around here,” she said, “but I do love ‘im. I do want te be there for him, I want this second chance. I s’pose it was just hard te think that I’d be any better at supporting him with you around. You know him, what he needs an’ who he is. I can’t pretend that I suddenly do."

She grimaced at the way Valka didn't sound bitter... Just sad, almost? Disappointed? Readjusting to life on Berk had to be hard, but for some reason, Astrid had been under the impression that being with Hiccup had to be the easiest part of it all. While that may still be so, "easy" was relative, and an estranged mother and estranged son reconnecting... Beyond the instinctive and the intrinsic bond, just sharing the same blood and passion wasn't going to make those empty twenty years suddenly full. A relationship between Hiccup and Valka needed to be built -- just like a relationship between the two of them. And it was going to take time.

"I...: Astrid wet her lips, trying to taste if whether or not the words on her tongue were the right ones. The thing was, though, was that she didn't have any words in the first place. So Valka continued.

"Helps none that you’re a reflection of who I could’a been, who they wanted me to be... But Gobber was right an’ I know it: you’re the daughter Stoick an’ I would have wanted. I can see how much you mean te Hiccup -- how much he means te you, how he smiles when you're around. A mother can only ever hope that someone values their son as much as you do, Astrid.”

Astrid’s heart twisted in her chest. Originally, she thought Valka didn’t like  _her_ , but now she felt silly for thinking that any of it was ever about her in the first place -- Valka was really just thinking of Hiccup and what she thought would be best for him, wasn’t she?

(If that was the case, then Astrid had two kinds of responses: a flattered feeling that Valka thought she was good for him… And a serious wonder about her ideas of what ‘best for Hiccup’ entailed. Those were things, however, that she’d keep to herself.)

Just like herself, and just like Hiccup, Valka was worrying about being enough. That was clear now.

“...It doesn’t have to be that way,” Astrid started, slowly shaking her head. “It shouldn’t be that way. There are comforts that you can’t offer him, sure, but at the same time? There are things that  _I_ can’t give him -- things that you absolutely can. Wouldn’t it just be better if we did this together? Instead of dancing around each other to try and--” Astrid winced at the word ‘dancing’ and she suddenly found it necessary to digress, if only for a moment. “The kitchen, your dance -- I didn’t mean to--”

“None of that, please,” Valka cut in, one hand raised for emphasis. “I know Stoick would have taught it te the two of you anyhow, but I believe I can try my hand.” She eyed Astrid carefully. “If you care to learn, that is.”

“...I, from you? I’d be -- honored.”

“Then it seems, perhaps, that we’ve gotten a tad tangled,” Valka sighed. “Let’s give this another go, shall we?”

The older woman was tentative about it... But after a second of hesitation, she set a hand on Astrid's shoulder -- and then she knew that Valka wasn't talking about the dance.

* * *

When they returned to the Haddock residence, Astrid felt lighter. Only, while she and Valka may have had clarity, Hiccup -- who was still outside, pacing with Toothless, Stormfly, and Cloudjumper watching him -- was quite literally left in the dark.

Their approach was announced by the trills and warbles of their dragons. Hiccup jolted and looked over at them, brow creased and lips flattened with worry. Astrid looked over to Valka and the two shared knowing smiles before facing forward again.

“H--“ Hiccup started, but as Astrid passed by him, walking in time with Valka, she pat his cheek.

“Come on inside. Let’s have dinner, yeah? Your mom has stories.”

Astrid smiled to herself when, from behind her, she heard Hiccup sputter.

“Wait, did--so are y--wh… Hol--hold on,  _stories?_ About  _who_ , exactly, are these stories--? I mean, it obviously can't be me--”

"Oops, did I say your mom had stories? Sorry, what I meant to say was that  _I_ have stories."

"Oh hohoh, you are playing a  _dangerous_ game, Astrid Hofferson--"

The way that Valka joined in on their laughter -- nothing could have been more reassuring.

...

Of mothers and daughters, future in-laws or otherwise, Astrid didn't feel like she knew much... And Valka was still distant. At the very least, having dinner felt like a good start; she had hope that the next time they crossed paths around the village, things would feel easier. Really, sitting at the table together, the only thing that would have made things better was a fourth presence to occupy the chair across from Hiccup.

(Astrid, however, wanted to believe that they just couldn't see him watching over them from the "empty" seat.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i ran out of words to say for their conversation oops... it's okay though!! this was so much fun!!!! 
> 
> BUT. HEY. if you read this whole story? you're awesome. thank u for reading this. i love and appreciate your existence very much and i hope you have something really really good happen to you soon <3 requests are open on tumblr; kudos and comments are appreciated!!! let me know what you think! xxx 
> 
> (lowkey... i wanna try writing from valka's perspective but we'll see if i ever think i can swing that ksjkskj)


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